Stella Damasus

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

2014

I am starting my year with a twenty one day fast and asking God for strength to see it through.
I know the things that I need God to do for me and my family! I also know that I need answers and direction from God. Most importantly I know that it is time to stop wasting my time and face my calling regardless of what people will say or think.

I know That I want to build my relationship with God and advertise him to the world with all that he has given me. I also know that it is time for you all to step out in faith and live the best life you were called to live. As the world draws closer to its end, we all need to be mindful of what we absorb from this world and society.

- We all need to know where we stand and who we stand for
- We all need to know for a fact, what we are doing and when we are supposed to do it
- We all need to know where we are heading and not be guided by the expectations of people

- I am not going to waste my time in 2014
- I am not going to look the way people expect me to look but the way i know I should look
- I am not going to spend money on irrelevant things when there are hungry and uneducated children out there who need help

- I am not going to attend an event because people expect me to, but because I am supposed to
- I am not going to comment on something because the world is expecting a reaction from me but speak as the Holy Spirit leads me
- I am not going to be afraid to do the things God has asked me to do because of the impression some people have of me
- I am not going to please man and offend God
- I am not going to keep friends who are not willing to follow the will of God and encourage me to love him
- I am not going to beg or seek for validation from man but from God who has already validated and endorsed me
- I am not going to say I am not good enough or I am not qualified because God created me for such a time as this
- I am not going to run away from the real me just because I want to retain fans and friends
- I will be happy and joyful
- I will live my life to the fullest
- I will love and praise God who is the creator of all things
- I will stand by the truth I know, no matter what
- I will love and pray for my enemies no matter how difficult it is
- I will run away from evil and its people
- I will tell those who care to listen about the God I have come to know
- I will sing the songs that I have always wanted to sing whether my voice is wonderful or not

- I will spend my time on important things

- I will not follow unnecessary trend when I know it is not good for me
- I will be content with what I have and where I am
- I will encourage and teach all those who are in my life

These are not new year resolutions but decisions I know I should have made long ago.

- 2014 is the year that we should all sit back and find out from God who we are, what our purpose is and how to go about it
- 2014 is the year we should all be free to do the work that we would enjoy and be paid for doing it

- 2014 is the year of our financial freedom and breakthrough
- 2014 is the year that we will all realize the Most important things in life
- 2014 is the year that jealousy, envy and gossip will no longer hold us back from our blessings and favor
- 2014 is the year we will stand for what is right and just

- 2014 is the year we stop thinking about ourselves alone but about every child created by God

I declare freedom to everyone

- Freedom to be the you whom God has created
- Freedom to do what you have been called to do
- Freedom to love and live freely
- Freedom from hiding behind society
- Freedom to explore the things you have always wanted
- Freedom to live regardless of what the world might say
- Freedom to be happy without any apologies
- Freedom to love and praise God in public regardless of your mistakes
- It's not too late to say I am sorry
- It's not too late to say I love you
- It's not too late to say forgive me
- It's not too late to show kindness
- It's not too late to give
- It's not too late to pray
- It's not too late to change

In fact, the time is now.

Happy New Year and God bless you all.

Love ya loads.

Saturday, 7 December 2013

What is your truth?

Satan is the father of lies. We all say this but do we really understand the meaning of it?

A LIE is as effective as the TRUTH if you believe it and act on it.
We all need to be careful about the things we decide to act on.
Sometimes if you look within yourself and evaluate your life's journey, you might just be shocked that your whole life has been ruled by the lies you acted on. As far as you were concerned, they were the truths that you knew, but what if what you believed to be true turned out to be lies.

- What if that person you resent so much is actually the friend you should have had?
- What if the best friend you have is actually the one telling you all the lies in the world just to get you to be close to him or her?
- What if all the warnings and prophecies you received from that man who always asked for money to pray for you were all false?
- What if some so called friends and loved ones decided to hide some vital truths from you just so that you are not hurt?
- What if the media has sold lies to you about people they know nothing about?
- What if people around you have made you give up on your dreams that would lead to your fulfilling the destiny you were called to fulfill, by telling you that you were not good enough, or intelligent enough, or the idea would fail?

What is your TRUTH?

Do you believe that there is a God who gave his son Jesus to die for us or do you believe in the great BIG BANG that science is teaching?

I ask again, what is your truth?

How do you know what is real?
How do you define your own truth?
Do you draw truth based on mere words from others?
Have you ever asked God to reveal your truth to you?
Do you prefer to act on the truth of others or your own truth?
What if the truth of another person is the LIE to you because of who you are?

Find your truth and you will know who you are.

God be with you now and always.
Stella Damasus

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

To Jay

Wow! It's amazing how time flies. It's been nine years since you left us and it still feels like yesterday. I guess it's because I remember too many things and feel all the emotions like they just happened. I woke up this morning with thoughts and visions of you, wondering what you could be doing right now and the number of new friends and angels you would be chatting with now.
You were always the man of the people; who loved to put smiles on faces, especially mine.

I also wondered what and who you would expect me to be now. I wondered if I have done justice to at least a huge portion of all the plans we had together.
Before I got out of bed I wanted to make sure that wherever you are, there would still be a smile on your face when you see how far I have gone. I nodded my head, smiled and got up because I knew that God heard us those nights we held hands and prayed together, asking for his help in accomplishing what we set out to do, especially in the lives of our children Isabel and Angelica. He has done great things in our lives and has continued to be there for us.

Jaiye, your girls miss you so much and I have made sure that whenever they hear any of your songs, they know it's you because that voice has remained in their hearts. Isabel still tells me how she knows that her shoe size came from you and Angelica insists that her height has nothing to do with me but owes it to you. Above all they know and will always know what a wonderful and loving father you were. Nothing will ever change that no matter what.
As I always say "time does not heal wounds, it only makes the load and pain lighter. Only God can heal wounds".

Today I am writing this letter to you and I am not crying, instead I am smiling because in my heart I know you are in the best place ever, where your laughter will resonate.
I miss you so much my love and I know that when the time comes I will see you again.

Okay, let me go and face the world now. You are so lucky because you no longer have to deal with all the hate, gossip, backbiting, deception, oppression, sickness, war, accidents, disasters, robbery and all the other things the rest of us have to deal with.

Rest in the arms of The Lord JAY.

Let me go and continue with all the negativity the world brings. My happiness is that I am not going alone, my God is with me all the way.

Rest in peace.

Friday, 29 November 2013

NO MORE TEARS ... STOP THE VIOLENCE!

No more tears

I feel shame when I look into the mirror;

I feel bitter to see what I’ve become.

I can’t tell my friends or family; who would believe me?

I can’t tell the police, they will only mock me.

I am that girl who people describe as little;

But you really don’t have a clue what I’ve been through.

The ones who are supposed to protect me;

End up taking advantage of me.

At sixteen I was called a pretty teen;

But daily I deal with low self-esteem.

Used and abused by the ones I look up to;

I being pushed, and might take my life if it comes to.

Marriage was supposed to be my sweet haven;

Nothing else to compare except God’s Holy Heaven.

But in the arms of the one I truly loved;

I suffer the pain of his fist as thick as gloves.

And when he is not hitting me;

He speaks uncaring cold hearted words, stinging me.

For better fore worse was the vow I took;

But better remains oblivious,

As this journey keeps growing worse.

I am that woman next door;

We even go to the same market, in the same bus;

I am that girl in your classroom;

Who you think is being pompous in your point of view;

I am the little girl in the playground;

All by myself, ensuring no boy is around.

I yearn to tell my story

That justice would take the glory

But will you accept back in society

And not point your fingers back at me….

I beckon on you;

Come to my rescue.

Help tell my story;

That justice would take the glory.

Else I'll cry; till I have no more tears in my eyes.

by

Daniel Ikekhuah

http://wordup411.blogspot.com/2013/10/no-more-tears-by-daniel-ikekhuah.html

This is the link of the full video of the STOP THE VIOLENCE - A Spoken Word Poetry Video:

http://youtu.be/XADTjYmJ5-Y

Thursday, 21 November 2013

SAY NO & UNITE AGIANST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

On the 25th of November 2013, the Say No Unite Team will kick off their 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Based Violence Campaign. This is an opportunity for us all to unite and say no to Domestic violence and general violence against women and young girls.

In honour of the #16DaysCampaign I want you to send me pictures or videos of you wearing, holding or standing beside something ORANGE and don't forget to say why you are supporting the cause; start with 'I wear orange because ... ' or 'I support the 16 Days Campaign with the colour orange because ...'
I will put up the pictures you send on my Twitter, Facebook, Blog and I will also send them to the Say No Unite UN Team as a show of support for the cause.

Send your pictures and videos to diaries@stelladamasus.com

I also decided to re-post a blog I had written about Domestic Violence a while ago.

Remember, you're not doing this for Stella but for those women and young girls out there that are living in pain and can't speak up about it.

WHEN IS IT ENOUGH?

WATCH THE TRAILER HERE -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3jJzBp2eX8

" It was 8a.m that morning and i was already dressed in my black dress, black shoes, no make up, my brushed hair in a pony tail. I was heading to yaba for a friend's funeral. She was 35 and beautiful, a mother of two beautiful children. Really did not want to go because I was not sure of how i was going to react. I was not sure if I could pull myself together. Anyway, I got to the church and it was packed full with people who knew her and who had heard of her. As I approached the church I was already battling with the huge lump in my throat, making sure that i could at least sit through the service. I managed to go inside, then the ushers took me upfront to sit with the family. I saw her mother and siblings who were crying uncontrollably, so I tried to console them while battling with that same lump. I did all I could until the kids walked into the church with the nanny. Oh my goodness, now that lump has melted into liquid so the flood gates flung open and the tears started gushing out. It was not a very pleasant sight as the choir leader could not continue the song. This is to give you an insight to the kind of person my friend was and the life she lived. She was extremely intelligent, kind, simple and most of all, was so in love with God and His word. Well as I tried to calm down, he walked in. THE HUSBAND.

I am sure by now you are thinking I would run to console him since I was very close to her and he knew me. Instead of that I stood up and walked to the other side of the church And sat down. That was when i knew how much respect I had for the church and the dead. If I could, I would lock him up in the coffin so he could go with her, after all he put her there in the first place. We had all begged, prayed, complained, reported, and fought, just to get him to stop beating her. I was tired of seeing the black eye, the swollen face, the bruised arms and the constant headaches. It was so bad that I had to tell him that one day he would do something really bad to his wife and end up behind bars. Little did I know that the day in question was fast approaching. He had beaten her so much for sending her own money to her mum without telling him, and when she tried to protect herself by pushing him off her, he got infuriated and hit her head on the wall. This time no black eye, no bruise to worry about, she just did not wake up. When her sister called me in the middle of the night I was not sure whether to cry or get angry or scream. My whole body was shaking and all I could say was " no no no please God no no no please". I started to feel guilty, "maybe I should have moved her out of there" but then again who am i to move her out of her husband's house when she herself refused to move.

It really hurt so much that even as I am writing this I am still crying. The case was taken to court and was dismissed because according to the courts the evidence was not enough, and so he was discharged and acquitted. In a country where an accurate autopsy cannot be carried out, let alone crime investigation, What do you expect? She Is dead and gone but the killer is walking freely and as usual he has custody of the children whom he has passed on to his new wife. My heart has been bleeding ever since because I know that this is happening to so many women. Some are still alive today to tell their stories, some are afraid to cry out for help, some cover up when they are asked questions about their black eye, some believe that there is no justice for the abused woman because other cases they have heard of, have always favored the man and lastly some are not alive anymore to speak up. As sad as this is, it is still happening even as I write.

Now it has progressed to acid baths, body mutilation, and other unthinkable things. In anger, I stormed to the church we all attended and demanded to see the head pastor. When he came out I screamed and yelled and people came into the church to hold me down. Please do not think I disrespect men of God. Oh far from it, infact I respect them so much because without some of them who have mentored me, i would not be the person i am today. Truth of the matter is, my late friend's sister told me that a few days before she died, she had gone to meet the pastor in fear because she had another fight with her husband who told her that he was ready to kill her and nothing would happen to him. He kept saying "na naija we dey o and when you die your dead body no go come prove to the court say na me kill you". My late friend then called her sister to tell her what had happened and that she was going to see the pastor. I asked her sister why pastor? Why not police? The sister laughed and said do you know how many times she tried that? The policeman she met on duty laughed and said "madam na domestic matter be dis abeg, husband and wife must fight, go beg your husband". When her husband found out he laughed and asked if she thought she was in America, then he beat her some more for even attempting. So she went to the pastor and told him everything again because that was not the first time she went to him to complain and ask for help. As usual the pastor said " my daughter, there is nothing God cannot do, please prayer is what you need. Keep praying to God to touch his heart, he will not kill you and he will not harm you. Go back home and maintain peace please, remember that God hates divorce so you cannot leave your home and children". She left there feeling so dejected and scared, and so she called her sister and told her all the pastor had said. I tried to think about what could have been going on in her head everyday of her life thinking that there is no SAFE HAVEN.
The man who swore to love and protect you is the one who is killing you, the parents who gave you to him in marriage will tell you not to leave your home because it is not a family trait and it will bring shame upon the family, you are too ashamed to even let people know you are going through domestic violence for fear of being stigmatized, you are not protected by law enforcement agents nor the law because some of them do the same thing to their wives, then the only place which is the house of God also tells you to go back to the place where you are being destroyed. My heart broke and that was when I cried the most because no one knows what she could have gone through alone. So I looked at this pastor and said I hope you are happy now, I hope you are satisfied that she listened to you and got killed in the process. I am not saying I support separation or women running out of their homes, but I insist that there must be temporary measures to take the woman to a safe place until things can be resolved. She has to at least be alive first before any reconciliation or anything can even take place.

My question today is, what does the church do in cases like this? Is it saying that because of doctrines women should remain there and die? Is it saying that apart from prayer there is no other way to help? I poured out my heart to the pastor and asked him a question directly without any apologies, "if your daughter came to you, bruised everyday, threatened and battered, would you tell her to go back there and pray? What if she does and gets killed? What would your reaction be? Will you be able to live with yourself? Then I calmed down and said God bless you pastor and thank you, I hope this means she will go to heaven. He could not say a word to me so I walked out. Call this ranting, lamenting, disrespectful, but one thing is for sure. We need answers, we need to shout it out loud, we need to educate women and let them know they can cry out for help. I can't stress this enough, if you are going through any form of violence especially domestic violence, you can get help. Please don't die for nothing. Make that call to project alert now 01 4737270, 08052004698 or send an email to projectalert@projectalertnig.org, log on to their website www.projectalertnig.org Enough is enough, the time to act is now. Say no to Domestic violence. Dedicated to all the women who have lost their lives through domestic violence.

May their souls rest in perfect peace."