Wednesday 5 June 2013

Just Like Me

I was going through some devotionals as I have been doing everyday for a while now just to boost my faith and give me the strength that I need to go on everyday. As I was getting to the end of my study a message popped up from nowhere. I still don't know where the message came from, who it came from or how it came.
The name of the person that sent it is one I still don't know or can’t figure out till now.
It was a post written by a woman I had never heard of and so out of curiosity I decided to read it. That decision was the best I had taken that day. I felt like the post was written because of me. Yes I can say that about myself since I am not ashamed to say that I sometimes struggle with faith and I’m still searching to know God more.
When I finished reading it I thought about all those people who are just like me and who need to know they are not alone. I had to share this post I received not just to comfort others but to encourage them.
Life is a journey and not a destination so we are all still in the journey. The roads will be bumpy but we just have to keep moving till we get there. Please read the message and be encouraged.

“A perfect faith would lift us up absolutely above fear. It is in the cracks, crannies and guilty faults of our belief, the gaps that are not faith, that the show of apprehension settles and ice of unkindness forms.” -George MacDonald

Do you, like me, have gaps in your faith?

Are there parts of you – tiny little parts – that do not trust God?

I am such a “ponderer,” and it often gets me into trouble. My pondering in congruence with my inquisitive nature leads to an abundance of question asking. More often than not, my questions do not get answered.

Unanswered questions can be unsettling.

I have faith. Some might even say it is strong. I know who God is, and I believe His Word is True. I try my best to trust Him, even when life does not make sense.

However, there are these crevices deep in the recesses of my soul, where fear resides.

I can envision the kind of faith I want to have. I can foreshadow the kind of woman I want to be . . . but I always seem to fall short. I never meet the standard I have engrained in my mind.

I have a very intimate relationship with God now, but it has not always been that way. Life beat me up pretty bad before I was broken enough to recognize my need for Him.

The beating left its mark.

During my high school years, I went through a season of tremendous sorrow. I went to twelve funerals by the time I was seventeen, and most of the deceased were friends my age.

I had so many questions, and no answers.

Questions like:

Why do good people die?
Where was God when my friend’s car was hit by a semi?
Why didn’t God save my friend when she died after three days of being in a coma?
Why doesn’t He stop bad things from happening?
Why didn’t He take away my pain?
Frustrated by the lack of answers, eventually I disowned my faith in God and decided I wanted nothing to do with Him.

I became encompassed in the ways of the world, which eventually made me bitter, broken, depressed, and even suicidal.

Thankfully, after several years of living in darkness, God got a hold of my heart. Life without God in it was worse than having unanswered questions. I chose to release my need to understand. I accepted the fact that God allows things to transpire that I will simply never comprehend on this side of Heaven.

I repented of my sin, and He received me back to Him with arms wide open.

That was seven years ago, and by God’s grace I am not the same person I used to be. However, there are times when I lack the faith to believe that God is going to work everything out for my good, even though He promises to do so. Even though I have seen Him do it time and time again, specifically in using my testimony.

Yes, God redeems, and He heals. I would not be writing this post today if that were not the case. It does not, however, change the fact that experiences have an affect on a person. They shape who we are, and influence the way we think and process things.

Sometimes, the things that have hurt and broken me in the past affect the faith I have in God regarding my future.

I remember the pain of that season as if it were yesterday. There are times when I find myself thinking that maybe God won’t come through, even though deep down I know that is not the Truth.

But He is so faithful. He and I are working through these fears of mine, and we are processing it together.

The pain of that season caused me to demand answers from God. The truth is that He was answering my questions; I just did not like His answers. I still ask Him questions, even now. And His answers are still the same:

My grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9).

The Lord is near the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).

My ways are higher than your ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Even during the times when the pain and sins of my past threaten to derail me, He is steady.

I am learning to let go of yesterday’s pain, so that I can grab hold of today’s joy and tomorrow’s hope.

Maybe life has thrown some things at you that have affected your faith. Maybe you, like me, need the breath of God to blow on the parts of your faith that have been frozen, so that they may be melted down and fresh faith can be reborn.

A prayer:

Lord, I want to have a faith that moves me beyond my fear. Search my heart and soul; reveal to me the parts of my heart that hesitate to trust You. I ask that my faith would be fortified. That Your Spirit would come, and strengthen me by the power of Your Word.


  1. am here
    kindly check this out

  2. Something Certain bout me is that, i aint got no time for church or God or anything religious.
    God Have Mercy over me.
    everyday, all i got to do is to sleep,wake, blog and eat.
    Gouta pray now #sincerely

  3. Amen, may HIS GRACE always be with us. the LORD shall always be ur strength sis STELLA. i love u


    This memo was sent in by a 'celebrity' who has been keeping an eye on the Daniel-Doris-Stella saga and sent in this lamentation but wishes to remain anonymous for reasons best known to her.
    Her memo follows

    ''YES..the lady in the picture is our very own Doris Simeon-Ademinokan.Well, until a few months ago..And that is if nothing has changed since her husband, Daniel Ademinokan, eloped with Stella Damasus Aboderin Nzeribe Ademinokan. Oops..a mouthful that was. Anyhow, I am more concerned,and worried sick for my dear lady,Doris.I seriously do not like her looks in this photograph.Oh By the way,the man in the picture is just her friend o.Please don't insinuate or pass any bias assertions.He is very married with kids. THANK YOU! But...I almost didn't recognize Doris at all.She looks rather frail,dejected,colorless...etc.Or is it my eyes..or Doris has aged overnight?Perhaps from too much stress? NO thanks to DANIEL AND HIS WHORE STELLA DAMATURU!!
    MEMO to Doris.. PLEASE darling, get your groove back on as Stella did.Stella is the one who should be having sleepless nights looking like this and not you.don't worry darling,whatever the locust(Stella)came to steal from you like a thief in the night will be restored to you in Jesus mighty name!
    Please get on your groove back and dust your shoulders.
    Daniel is a male whore so good riddance to bad rubbish!''
    From Stella To Stella
    *Stella Damasus i don't care if you still claim you didn't snatch Daniel from Doris but I wonder how you can still sleep with all this..I wonder how you part your legs for him and enjoy the sex..I wonder how you wear his engagement ring without it weighing your hands down...I wonder how you plan to become his wife when the woman who's place you stepped into is still crying.
    you keep talking about God on your you know God Stella?God will not give you anything that will bring you shame or dishonour if you really worship him in spirit and in truth.
    I don't care whether you marry Daniel or not but i am really upset that you have another woman's child with you..that is perhaps the reason she has aged overnight.
    Another woman's child calls you mother when the mother is still alive? .Stella you are my namesake and Stella's are strong,independent women who are go getter's on the positive,not this kind.
    God put you through the threshold for a reason but you left the threshold before the appointed time.I am in no position to judge you,i only speak from pain as a have your kids with you and you monitor their growing up phase,why should another woman be denied hers?
    Stay with Daniel if you want but please you are a mother right?let God minister to you and Daniel so you both can return Doris Simeons son to her... this is a soft memo for now and i am watching events unfold.
    PLEASE RETURN THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN'S child to her and then continue with whatever binds you both.
    God is watching you Stella...selah

  5. Hi dear Stella,
    listen, this issue with a man and his wife and u being a home breaker has gone on for too long. Maybe its time u actually came out to say something. U look like a decent young woman and i admire ur courage, especially how u rose up from the death of ur first husband to take care of urself and children. People who saw u and jaiye (God rest his soul) together could actually see how much you loved urselves, so all d stories and rumours there were just what they r, stories and rumours. Responsible people, indeed nigerians know dat there r two sides to every story. So let people lniw urs, before they destroy d reputation dat its taken u years of hard work and tearsl to buld. Give people d chance to know the real u. The beautiful, good natured, well talented, well brought up andll hard working girl dat i know u r. Say sonething sweetheart, don't let them have the last laugh. God bless u!!!

  6. Stella return Doris' son, less som1 else helps you take care of ur daughters while u 're still alive.God knws those who worship him in spirit and in truth, so pls be a doer of the words u preach.

  7. so u sabi God lik dis? intresting. i keep sayin let those who call on the name of God desist frm iniquities. i feel like insultin, judging, callin u names, but i wont, coz who am i to judge? but one tin i knw fr sure is no sinner will go unpunished. ur silence proves alot of tinz, it proves dat truly u snatched dat man, it proves dat truly u snatched doris happiness, but wat i dnt get is it was dis same u dat judge lola alao.. y can't pipu practice wat dey preach? y r pipu being hypocritical? y hav pipu decide to throw their shame, respect, nd value to d wastebin? yea dey say silence is golden but in dis case it isnt. they also say action speaks louder than words but d truth is we knw u r fkuckin dat woman's husband.. lemme ask u dis direct question, if any of ur 2 daughters grow up nd someone snatches deir husband or a business partner of deir husband wrecks deir home will u b silent? will u curse? b honest to ur selve and answer dis question.
    As fr Daniel he is a boy he isnt a man. even d bible say divorce ur wife only in a case of adultery.. i don't know Doris personally but i can say she isn't an adulterous woman. Doris darling d lord is ur strength.


  8. Stella I just hope all these allegations are false o.......I just hope. Hmmmmm