Thursday 10 May 2012

My Mother, My Friend

My mother
I had Some  time to myself a few weeks ago, and my mind took me to my childhood.
Funny how time flies because it all felt like yesterday as I could remember some experiences vividly. Most importantly, I remembered the times I had to go to my mother whenever something came up and wondering how she would take it.

People tell me how strong they think I am because of my experiences and the fact that I survived a lot of things, but I tell them "wait till you meet my mum". She is one woman I am sure you would love to meet, I say this because I grew up knowing so much about life and learning about the most important thing "LOVE"
I had a conversation with my sisters about my mum and all the things we remembered growing up. It was amazing how we could all remember vividly, the wonderful things she used to do that have helped us bring joy and laughter to our own homes.

We remembered the special girlie dresses and shoes she would buy for us during the holidays especially Christmas. It was fun all the way because she would shop for days, then come home with decorations and ask everybody to try and design their favourite part of the house.  My older sisters remembered the times when she would take them all into the kitchen, put the metal comb on the gas, and one by one she would stretch their hair because then there was nothing like relaxer. That was the height of enjoyment as a girl at that time, as it made you become instantly popular. I laughed my heart out when my sisters were talking about the stretching comb era because I was not a part of that please *wink wink*. You see my mother had five girls and you know what it means to take care of your girls  and make them look trendy all the time. One is hard enough, trust me I know how it can be because I have two, but five is a lot of work.

My mother at work (She was a banker)
Chief Mrs Maria Theresa Damasus is the original strong, beautiful, elegant, incredible African woman. I always prayed that God would make me at least half the woman that she is.
She taught us to be satisfied with what we had and who we are. At that time I did not fully understand but as I grew older I realized that it formed who I became. People who really know me can attest to the fact that I don't try to be who I am not and I don't look for things I cannot afford. It helped me a lot because as an entertainer who has been to places and met people it is pretty easy to fall into temptation because you want to live with extremely high standard when you cannot afford it. My sisters are so amazing, they taught me a lot of things my mum taught them. It might interest you to know that regardless of who I am today, it does not affect me when I am with my sisters trust me. The level of respect I have for them is such that I cannot misbehave or say certain things in their presence. That is how my mum brought us up. She was the best wife any man could ever ask for so I can proudly say that my late father was a lucky man.

Our house was a haven to us, I say this because you would expect a lot of fights and noise in a house filled with girls, but there were no fights, no stress, very conducive environment to grow and flourish.
According to my oldest sister Shirley "she created a happy home for us. She is our friend, sister, mother and confidant. She stood firmly behind us and made sure we grew up with self confidence. We could be whatever we wanted to be, no limitations to ambitions, no pressure".
Contrary to what most people will tell you, I can honestly say that  my mum is my confidant. Truth is I can tell her anything, even things I cannot say to my sisters or my best friend. She would never judge me or make regret the fact that I told her anything.

My mother again
 My mum lost her only son among five girls in 1991 and we all thought that was the end. We watched her go through so much pain, but in all of that she did her best to shield Us away from her emotional battles. She also lost her father who was her best friend some years later. Then just like me she lost her husband recently. I cannot begin to tell you how their relationship made me tell God that if he can give me a marriage like that I will never give up on love. We were fortunate to come from a home filled with so much love and care, I never saw then argue because they respected us that much and were careful not to teach us the wrong things.
Even when it was obvious that my mum was hurting or upset, she would sing and talk about her childhood. It was not until I grew much older that she told me about marriage and the fact that the children must never see animosity between their parents, no matter how bad it gets, sort it out privately in your bedroom but make sure they don't hear your voices. She also taught me that man and wife must never carry a fight over to the next day. That was a bit hard I will not lie but I found that it worked like magic.
My mother would put a book on my head to try to get me to walk straight on a line. Of course I failed that so many times but I still kept trying. She would scream if i pronounced TH as T, give you a serious look if you didn't close your legs properly like a lady or if she heard a sound while you were chewing. At that time it was not fun at all but trust me it helped in the long run.

 She used to be an award winning opera singer and a stage actress, and I am so grateful to her for exposing me to all kinds of music and movies. My father loved music and movies too so trust me we had loads of Betamax tapes and turn table records from the sixties to modern.
I can go on and on but the most important thing is that I love my mother, my role model, my mentor and MY FRIEND.

Chief Mr Samuel and Chief Mrs Maria Theresa Damasus
Chief Mrs Maria Theresa Damasus was 70 yesterday, the 9th of may.
Pray for my mum and wish her well for me.
I urge you to write out the beautiful things you can remember about your mum and send to her if she is alive, if she is not still write it and send to me if you would like me to publish it.
Let us celebrate our mothers today.


 Stella's Quote of the day: Train up a child in the way he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. 


  1. Happy birthday to your mum. Mothers to me are the best gifts one could ask for. I lost mine to a series of illness and loss of memory due to an after effect of a ghastly motor accident whe had 3 years ago and I'd say she had 2 give up her life 4 us cos we were hanging by a thread, my sis lost her arm n I had broken ribs which threw her into panic . Life has never been the same. She was my best friend and confidant and I miss her more than words could tell. She moulded me into the lady I am today. I remember some years back whem my had financial issues, she sold some of her possessions to make sure she kept us in school and had food on our table. She would run around whenever we fell ill n won't sleep till we slept. I miss her so much. Happy birthday once more to Mrs Maria Theresa Damasus. God's abundant blessings upon her. Amen

  2. Sorry about the typo. Replied with sleepy eyes

  3. God bless all our mothers. This is a wonderful tribute.

  4. Stella may God bless you & your family.

  5. God bless your mother Steall, God bless my mum too. There couldn't have been any me without my mum, an old soldier as we call her. Full of love and compassion. My mum is 74 now, am lucky to still have her. From making sure I attended a federal school, to visiting days, helping to comfort me when my marriage broke down and still believing in me is a miracle. God bless you mum.

  6. Bless your heart Stella...well written and Happy birthday to your mum

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  8. Happy birthday to your mom dear. Many people still do not know that MOM spelt upside down is WOW...