Stella Damasus: He Almost Gave Up

Thursday 3 January 2019

He Almost Gave Up

Welcome to 2019! I am so glad to be back here with you- my wonderful readers. I took a long break from blogging. In fact, now that I think of it, I took the longest break in the history of any blog I know. Good news is that I am back for good.

In the course of my long break, I worked on a lot of other projects, and I also started my coaching and consulting business. One of my clients was at a point in his life where he was ready to give up on his dreams and visions because of family and friends. As ridiculous as that may sound, this has happened to a lot of people and is still happening.

Have you ever wondered why sometimes friends and family don't value your talent? They celebrate other people for doing the same thing you do, but no one gives you accolades.
You may wonder why they know how well you can sing, but they pay someone else to sing at their event. You may wonder why they know how good your photography is, but they would rather hire a stranger to do their wedding photos. They know you carry the word of God in you and you are seriously connected to God, but your pastor friends will never invite you to preach in their church. They know how efficient you are with technology and media, but they would rather hire a company and pay them to do the job. I can go on and on, but I am sure you already get the gist.

I know a lot of people can relate. Don't feel bad or left out because you are not alone. That is why the saying "a prophet is not recognized in his own home" exists. This does not mean that they don't know how talented or intelligent you are, it's an unconscious oversight based on familiarity or maybe too much of it. Don't hate them or get angry when that happens. The truth is that when you are celebrated and recognized by outsiders in another state or country, everything will change. They will start to think differently and see you differently. As painful as it sounds, it's the bitter truth.

This is exactly what happened to my client when we first met. He started doubting himself and his capabilities because the ones closest to him, did not encourage him. They did not give him work, they passed on him and hired others to do it for them. When he asked, they told him it was an oversight because they knew he was capable. This happened over and over again until he began to think that they did not believe in him, so he stopped believing in himself too. It took several sessions to get him to understand how things like this work.

Here are some of the things I told him:

1. Don't spend your time and energy getting angry, and complaining. Instead, keep growing and keep pushing for other people to value what you have.

2. Work as hard as you can until you are celebrated for your work by people who don’t know you. When they start to celebrate you, the people who didn't appreciate you before will want to be identified with you now.

3. Stop trying to prove yourself to them first. Prove yourself to yourself and see what happens.

4. If the closest people to you don’t encourage you, learn to encourage yourself and believe in what you can do. Focus on the work and keep improving.

5. If they won’t take a chance on you, take a chance on yourself.

6. Offer your services to outsiders. Do an amazing job so that you can get referrals.

7. Make sure you let those around you know that you are getting jobs from others, without sounding boastful. Don’t do it with resentment, but let them know that you are doing well.

After a while, he channeled his energy to his work and networking. His business grew, and he became a happier person.

My advice to you in 2019 is to Keep Moving Forward!
- Don’t slow down, and don’t give up regardless of what people do or say.
- Don’t expect anything from anyone no matter who. When they eventually do something or give you anything, it becomes a plus.
- Don’t depend on anyone to move your work forward. Do what you can with all the technology available and put your work out there. It may not be the best or the way you want it to be, but at least you will have something to show.